pushing us around (living useless lives)
by ThatOneTyGuy
Summary: Timetravel AU, Madara gets sent back to the past and doesn't like it very much to say the least. (Hashirama x Madara)
1. Chapter 1

Madara, injured and dying looks up at the sky while thinking about Hashirama's words, the words that most likely will be the last thing he will ever hear.

Not that Madara regrets Hashirama's annoying voice being the last thing he hears, but he may have preferred not to have the annoying Senju be right there next to him as he died. Hashirama's words echo through him, and he can't help but keep thinking about them as his life force slips away from him.

 _Right now, we can drink together as war buddies._

The words stay in his mind, echoing through him as Madara starts to close his eyes, slightly taking in Hashirama's calm smile. It helps him slightly, even though he would never admit it. "War buddies, huh?..." Madara says, his eyes nearly closed. "I guess... That's okay..." His eyes close, Hashirama noting that even with the current circumstances he dies with a smile on his face. A slight one, but a smile none the less. Madara sees the darkness take him, and he takes it with slight relief.

He can see his little brother again. So he takes death warmly, and so everything is pitch.


	2. Chapter 2

Light seems to flash in my eyes, and I wince slightly as I start hearing a voice trying to get me to wake up. As I thinks of Hashirama's words, that seem to taunt me even now.

 _We can drink together as old war buddies. Why does he think so much of those words, a small hope in them?_

All my hope was lost when Izuna died, why should I have any now? My dream had been crushed, while Hashirama's dream flourished.

Perhaps I was doomed to fail from the start.

Ishift slightly, voices in the background starting to become clearer. "Nii-san! Nii-san, wake up!" I hear the voice call out, it seems distorted, faded even, but it becomes stronger.

Izuna? It can't be. He died long ago, is this my punishment for all I have done?

I open my eyes, seeing a very upset Izuna who is trying to get me out of bed, and my thoughts immediately go haywire and cause a mental train-wreck. "Nii-san! Get out of bed, it's afternoon and the reports from the scouts came in! You said you'd train me, too!" Izuna says, trying to shake me awake while I'm practically unconscious from shock. "Uh... Nii-san? Are you alright?" Izuna stops shaking me for a moment, looking momentarily concerned as I quickly attempt to sort my mental bearings.

"I'm fine, otouto. I'm just a little tired, that's all," I say quickly, not wanting Izuna to worry. Well, I'm definitely the one doing the worrying right now. The gravity of what the hell is going on suddenly hits me in the face like one of Tsunade's chakra-infused punches while Izuna looks up at me with a smile.

"Okay Nii-san! I'll go see if I can help anyone," Izuna says cheerfully, as I continue to try and wrap my head around what the hell is going on. What have I even planned for today? I don't remember anything other than what Izuna just told me, and I has absolutely no idea what to do about it. I don't bother trying to release the genjutsu most would suspect they are trapped in, because as soon as I got my Mangekyo Sharingan, not to mention my Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan I became immune to genjutsu, obviously excluding Izanagi and Izanami. I get out of my tent and walks outside, only to be shocked to hell and back by what's, or more accurately WHO is in front of me.

It's fucking Hashirama.

Why the hell is he here? I have no idea, and it doesn't look like I'm going to find out. "Hi Mada—" Hashirama starts, but then I immediately passes out from pure shock. "... ra?..."

After seeing Madara pass out right in front of me, I'm torn on what to do. Should I just stand there completely confused and stunned, or actually help out? I just stare at Madara for a moment, completely stunned. Who knew Madara could faint from shock? This is new.

"H-Hashirama-sama? Is Nii-san okay?" Izuna asks, running over to Madara while me and Tobirama just stand there not knowing what to do.

"Ah... I think so? Let me see," I reply slightly hesitantly, because I don't want Madara to suddenly wake up and stab me. That wouldn't be healthy, and would probably make Tobirama incredibly upset and stab someone. I walk over to Madara and make sure that he actually won't stab me, and look at him for a moment. Then I poke him, much to Izuna and Tobirama's disappointment and Madara instantly grabs my arm to stop me and is completely awake and Tobirama looks even more disappointed. Then I finally notice that Madara is hyperventilating, and I seem to be the only one who has noticed. What? That's even newer. Is newer even a word?

"What the hell were you trying to do, Senju?" Madara says, glaring at me and also managing to stop hyperventilating. Wonder what got him so shaken up? Knowing Madara, he probably won't tell me.

"Poke you awake because you fainted," I say blandly, and Tobirama face palms and Izuna sighs in disappointment much to my confusion. Madara blinks, one of the few times I see him even slightly stunned by something. Madara simply gets up and starts walking back to his tent much to everyone's confusion, and Izuna just looks a little conflicted.

"Nii-san, what about the scout reports?" Izuna asks quickly, trying to get Madara from going back into the tent. It doesn't look like it's going to do anything though.

"I'll see them later," Madara says shortly, going into his tent.

What the heck is going on?

I sigh in relief as I go back into my tent, not wanting to talk to anyone or explain anything. I'll be pushed to explain later, but how can one explain time travel, dying, getting revived then getting killed AGAIN not even a day after, and many other things? Well I for sure can't, at least not right now. I lay down on my futon, and not even a minute later someone comes into my tent. Who is it, Izuna or Hashirama? It has to be at least either of them, and oh Kami if it's both of them I might stab something. "Madara?" I hear Hashirama say, and I instantly get a very vague idea of hiding in my own tent to not have to deal with him, but I don't have enough time because a tent is a tent after all, they are very small.

"Hn. What do you want, Senju?" I ask, not bothering to get up and I quickly realize my voice sounds hoarse. Weird, and completely unexpected. I don't like this very much, but who said I had to?

"... Are you alright?" Hashirama asks, and I scoff. Yes, I'm feeling ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, thank you. I just got back from dying and basically destroying the world that a seventeen year old kid had to save afterward, but only after I resurrected a goddess AND the Juubi, fought (More accurately bullied) all five Kage, then just died because you showed up.

"Of course, I'm absolutely peachy. Now get out of my tent," I say, wanting Hashirama out of my tent as soon as possible.

"But—" Hashirama says, obviously wanting to stay because he probably still thinks there's something wrong. Well, he would definitely be right on that account but I don't care at the moment.

"Get out of my tent, Hashirama," I say, getting more irritated by the second.

"But Madara—" Hashirama says, before I interrupt him again.

"PLEASE?" I yell at him, and Hashirama immediately leaves while I instantly regret my word choices. This isn't going well at all. But who am I kidding, it's been going bad ever since I woke up in the damn past.

Fucking time travel and it's stupid logic breaking bullshit.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm incredibly confused as I leave the tent and go back to Izuna and Tobirama. "So, how'd it go?" Tobirama asks, and I know Tobirama already has his own suspicions.

"I tried to get him to tell me what's wrong, but he told me that he was fine and told me to get out of his tent," I grumbled. "He's obviously not fine, his voice was hoarse for some reason, and it's always been 'Senju', this is the first time he actually called me by my actual name, and he said please but that's probably because I tried to argue with him." Tobirama raises an eyebrow, and Izuna has a varying level of shock.

"Well, that's unusual," Izuna says slowly, trying to figure out the reason behind the odd behavior of his elder brother. Tobirama nods in agreement as I wrack my mind for a reason behind this.

"Izuna, when Madara first woke up did he do anything unusual besides the fainting thing?" I ask, still trying to think of a reason behind this. I hope I find one, but currently it seems like I'll have less luck of finding it out than winning a bet.

"As soon as he woke up he just stared at me for a moment like I was a ghost, and he didn't remember anything he planned for today," Izuna says, thinking. This shocks me, and it also shocks Tobirama somewhat. Tobirama always looks unruffled by everything.

"That's... Unusual to say the least," I say as my thoughts go haywire, questions forming at a million miles an hour. Madara doesn't have THAT bad of a memory. "How about you try asking him, Izuna?" I ask, looking at Izuna who is still thinking. Well, we all are to be honest.

"I wouldn't get any answers either, considering that when he woke up he instantly said he was fine," Izuna says silently.

"Does he have something he writes in? Maybe we could look in that," Tobirama says, and I turn towards him quickly.

"But that's stuff is private!" I argue, knowing that even if Madara had something like that he would probably kill whoever tried to look inside something like that.

"Well, do YOU have any better ideas, Anija?" Tobirama says bluntly, and I look at the ground. I have no idea what to do anymore.

"I don't, but how are we even going to get in the first place?" I reply, still getting no new ideas. "He would most likely kill us." Izuna nods in agreement while Tobirama tries to think up a way how and I think about my life choices and how this might be another one to add to the 'Bad Life Choices' list.

"I got an idea. Go somewhere out of sight," Izuna says, before running off somewhere. Me and Tobirama look at each other for a moment out of pure confusion, then go somewhere out of sight. I wonder what Izuna has in mind...

I see Izuna enter my tent and I sit up, still not wanting to deal with him or anyone for that matter. I still haven't gotten used to seeing Izuna, not to mention Tobirama and Hashirama. The last time I saw the two brothers they were reanimated by Tobirama's own jutsu, and Izuna died before Konoha even existed. I don't even know why he's alive when Konoha is being made, but I'm glad he is.

I'm not going to let him die this time.

"What do you want, otouto?" I say, trying to get past the fact that I totally didn't just time travel to the past where my little brother is still alive then proceeded to faint in front of BOTH Senjus and proceed to make everyone in the general vicinity worry for my physical well-being. And probably my mental well-being too.

"I found a good dango shop. Want to see?" Izuna says, and I instantly become suspicious. Despite Izuna being my dear little brother, he never pulls something like this unless he wants to get something. But maybe I'm just overthinking it and he just wants to go to a dango shop with me. I don't know, and it makes me slightly upset that I can't tell but it's not like I can do anything about it.

"Alright, fine. Let's go to this dango shop," I say, not too happy. This is probably going to end in some form of screwing me over, but I could still be overthinking it. Izuna smiles, that smile that near instantly binds me to whatever he wants me to do because oh Kami I've missed it, and I'm still trying to deal with having Izuna be dead for over a century then suddenly time travel and see him again.

How long has it been since I last seen that smile, that smile that gave me hope when there was none?

I don't know, it's been too long to tell.

I watch Madara walk away with his little brother, and I can't help but feel surprised. Who knew Madara liked dango? Definitely not me or Tobirama, and I quickly see and take this chance. "Let's go," I say, looking at the tent. I can't help but feel a bad premonition, I really don't want to be killed. Being killed isn't healthy, but I don't really have a choice this time because I can't think of a better idea.

"Alright," Tobirama says, and we go into Madara's tent. I don't know what I expected, but an organized space definitely wasn't it. I quickly identify a book on a small side table, and looking around I see that he kept the plants I gave him. I didn't expect that either. I take the book and open it, seeing a blank page before I turn to another.

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"What?" I say, looking at the writing while Tobirama quickly comes to a conclusion that I coildn't in under two seconds.

"Oh Kami anija, you freaking idiot THROW THE BOOK AWAY!" Tobirama yells out, as I stand there clueless for a moment before throwing it away, still with a tiny bit of confusion.

I quickly become not so confused when the book explodes in my face.

 _ **BOOM!**_

I get knocked back slightly by the book exploding, and I just sit there before grabbing the small pieces of paper that are left behind. "Anija, you freaking idiot! We are leaving now," Tobirama said, before grabbing me and shushinning away while I hold the small pieces of paper tightly.

Well, this went poorly.

As soon as I hear the explosion, I shushin to my tent. "HASHIRAMA!" I yell out, startling everyone in the general vicinity as I enter my tent. Damn Hashirama, thank Kami I put an explosive book there. It was definitely worth it. I look at the place where I put the explosive book, and frown at the destruction. I should've at least thought of some precaution so there wouldn't be a hole in the ground. I knew they were worried, but really? Tobirama definitely suggested this, because I know for sure Hashirama wouldn't. And if it wasn't for Tobirama, Hashirama would probably be knocked out on the ground. I don't bother filling in the hole, and I hear Izuna outside.

"Nii-san? What happened?" Izuna says, and I hear right in his voice that he probably was talking with Hashirama. I go outside, and look at him right in the eye.

"You're the one who put the two Senju up to this, didn't you?" I say, unamused. "And if you didn't, you didn't try to stop them." Izuna instantly looks guilty, and I knew I was right from the start. Well, the only reason I wrote in the book was to try and get my facts straight (As in the events that happened in order), and put a seal on it so it would explode ten seconds after someone opened it. It helped a little bit, but how am I supposed to know what's going to happen if Izuna isn't dead when Konoha has already started being made?

"But we were worried, Nii-san! And you never say anything..." Izuna says, trailing off, still looking guilty and the words seem to prick me like glass. He's right, but how would I explain this? I don't want him to have the burden of all this knowledge, I don't want ANYONE to have this burden.

But it doesn't look like I can do much about it.

"I'm fine, don't worry about it," I say, thinking to myself before realizing something. What if the damn Senju brothers got a small piece of the book? If so, oh well. It's not like they'll understand it.

"Then why when you woke up did you look at me like I was a ghost?" Izuna replies blandly, and I blink for a moment. Amazing, this is the exact opposite of where I wanted this conversation to go. Izuna waits for an answer, and I look back at him.  
"This conversation is over, please get out of my tent," I say shortly, and as soon as Izuna leaves my tent I try to think of what to do, but I get nothing. Knowing Izuna and how Hashirama is still probably worried about me, Izuna is most likely going to tell Hashirama about this and his failure to get me to say anything. I lay down, trying to think up a solution but can't find any.

Great. Absolutely amazing, what will I do now?

I perk up slightly when I see Izuna walk out of the tent, but after I see the expression on his face I become slightly depressed again. "How'd it go?" Tobirama asks, looking from the tent to Izuna.

"He said he was fine again, and when I mentioned that when he woke up he looked at me like I was a ghost he told me to get out of his tent," Izuna says, not too happy. I can't think of any other ideas, so I just sit there for a moment.

"Do you have any other ideas? I can't think up any at the moment," I say silently, not knowing what to do. Tobirama shakes his head, and I still can't think up of anything.

"How about we just watch him? We can't think up any other ideas anyway," Izuna says, and me and Tobirama nod in agreement. I think to myself silently, seems like the only thing I'm going to do for a while is think about this until I figure out whats wrong, I note with slight sadness. This might not be the right choice, but no one ever said I was known for making good choices. Besides, what could go wrong?

…

Actually, a lot of things could go wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a day since those two idiotic Senju tried to open a book they thought I wrote actual meaningful information in that exploded in their faces, and I still have no idea what to do. I haven't been out of my tent a lot, even though I know it's causing Hashirama and Izuna to worry and I have some suspicions that one of them is going to confront me about it, but you never know. "Nii-san?" I hear Izuna say, and I internally groan. I knew they would try to talk to me soon, but that doesn't mean I'm completely used to them actually BEING there and alive, and also not trying to kill me.

"Yes, otouto?" I ask, non-verbally implying that he can go into my tent. Izuna walks in, and I can near instantly tell that he's worried. Trust him to be worried, he can worry about basically everything.

"Hashirama-sama wanted to show you something," Izuna says, and I instantly feel slightly suspicious but tries to push it away. Kami, I'm overreacting so much that it's annoying. Hashirama just wants to show me something, why should I feel suspicious about it?

Well, probably because the last time I saw him he was right next to me as I died AGAIN.

 _ _We can drink together as old war buddies._ _

Those words are still stuck in my head, and it doesn't look like they are going to get out of my head anytime soon and I don't like that at all. "Alright," I reply while getting up, thinking about the seals I made the day before. The privacy seals I made are definitely going to be useful, and I am pretty sure Hashirama knows how to destroy them but considering him he probably wouldn't. At least hopefully he wouldn't. I follow Izuna out of my tent, and he goes to look for Hashirama as I follow him. We finally reach him after a while, and I don't really know what to expect.

"Ah, there you are! I was wondering when you would show up," Hashirama says happily, and I can't help but feel incredibly suspicious. What is the damn Senju going to do now?

"Hn," I reply, not even attempting to give him a dignified answer. Hashirama instantly looks upset like he went into a miniature version of those random bouts of depression, and I feel slightly bad for him, but I don't do anything about it. Hashirama starts to go some place, and I follow him as Izuna follows as well. I don't know where Tobirama is, but he's probably here some place. I hope he steps on a kunai or something, he definitely deserves it. Well, he hasn't done anything at the moment but I still don't like him very much despite this being before he did things like create the Edo Tensei jutsu.

We start going through the forest, and I start to feel apprehensive. I know this route, it's the same one to where the Valley of the End would be in the future. If me and Hashirama fought, of course. I hope that he actually doesn't stop there, because I really don't want to see the place where I died for the first time. Hashirama stops, and I stop as well as I look around. "It looks nice, doesn't it?" Hashirama says, and I don't like this at all. This is where I first died, and for a moment I struggle to get out an answer because I truly don't know what to say. My thoughts keep straying to that fight, and I don't know what to do.

"... Yeah, it does," I reply, finally getting up some words while Izuna was staring at me curiously at my failure to get an answer. I don't want to be here, but I sure as hell can't just leave because it'll raise questions.

Oh Kami, I'm screwed.

I look at Madara for a moment, curious that it took him a little bit to answer. That's a bit unusual, and I'm slightly concerned for him. He already started acting a little strange when we were going here, as if he recognized the route. I look back as Madara closes his eyes, looking at the lake. It seems to sparkle in the light, and I look at it for a moment before looking back at Madara before once again starting to become concerned. I can easily tell he's shaking slightly, and he's breathing a little bit harder. "Madara?" I say, looking at him for a moment. "Are you alright?" I continue, still concerned. I reach out to touch him, only for him to flinch back slightly. Not enough for Izuna to notice, or for Tobirama to notice because I know for a fact that he's hiding somewhere around us, but easy enough for me to notice.

"Hn," he replies, once again not giving me an answer and I can tell I look upset for a moment, before I quickly look neutral again. I can tell something is wrong, but to my utter frustration he is refusing to tell me. I look back at the lake, thinking but still concerned about Madara. After a little bit, I turn back to Madara only to see that he's trembling a bit more, and still breathing hard. He's even sweating a tiny bit, despite being cold. He closes his eyes for a moment, as if he's trying to calm down and he quickly opens them, as if he thought of something he didn't want to thing of.

"Madara..." I continue, easily getting his attention. "I know something is wrong. Can you please tell me?" I say silently, and he looks to the side. He seems to be thinking up an answer, and I quickly get hopeful for an actual answer but knowing Madara probably isn't going to give me one.

"I'm fine," Madara says again, but I know he's lying but I don't press him about it. He probably doesn't want to tell me for a reason, but I'm worried! He can at least tell me something, right? I quickly decide to ask again, seeing that Madara is shaking a little bit more. I hope I don't have to quickly regret this.

"... Please?" I ask for the final time, and I instantly see that Madara looks very conflicted about giving me an answer. Like he's weighing the outcome of the situation if he answers, and what would happen if he doesn't. I look at him a moment longer, and he sighs.

"Yes, something is wrong. No, I'm not going to tell you about it," he says bluntly, and I can't help but feel upset by this. Izuna looks slightly surprised that Madara actually said something, and Madara looks like he is already regretting his decision. I'll have to ask someone about whats going on, because this definitely isn't normal. I wouldn't mention Madara though, he'd probably get upset if I did.

"Nii-san?" Izuna says, and Madara turns towards him slightly, thinking for a moment.

"Yes?" Madara replies, as I look back at the lake again. I don't think Izuna is going to get anywhere, but it's worth a try.

"... Do you want to see a Yamanaka?" Izuna says, and Madara shakes his head quickly. I try to think up something to say, but I can't think up anything.

"... I need to do something," Madara says silently, and I look at him curiously but Madara shushins away before I can say anything. Izuna looks confused, and incredibly conflicted as I try to think up a reason why this is going on.

Why can't Madara tell me anything?

I quickly shushin away, even though I know my excuse will raise questions later I just couldn't stay there any longer. I activate the privacy seals, knowing that if I didn't Izuna or Hashirama would go in. Well, Hashirama could probably just destroy the seals but he probably wouldn't. The suggestion of seeing a Yamanaka sounds like the worst idea possible at the moment, because I have no idea what the hell seeing my memories of a different timeline could do to a person. I sit down and try to get a hold of myself, but memories flash by me like shards of ice and I feel a tightness in my chest.

" _HASHIRAMA!" I yelled out, angered by my failures. Everything went wrong, everything! I have failed, and there is nothing I could do about it._

" _Madara! Why are you doing this?! What about our dream?" Hashirama yells back, feeling betrayed. The fight continues, despite me knowing I failed. There's nothing I can do about it now, Hashirama is stronger than me even though it pains me to admit it._

 _The katana slides through my lung, as I cough out blood._

 _We both stand there, completely frozen, as I try to do one final attack, but I can't. My plan failed, and the Eye of Moon plan with it. I could've put this world in eternal peace through a genjutsu, then everyone would be happy._

 _That was what Izuna wanted, right?_

 _Drip..._

 _My blood drips down onto the scarred ground, a valley to forever remain where our battle took place. Hashirama takes the blade out as my vision starts to darken, and I try to get up but fail, only to cough up more blood."Why?" Hashirama asks silently, and I can't give an answer._

 _There is nothing to say._

 _Drip..._

I shake slightly, cursing myself for being so pathetic. Why does some small memories cause me this much pain? It's pathetic, and I don't know how to deal with it. I quickly become glad that I left Hashirama and Izuna at that time, otherwise I'd probably have the flashbacks there and Hashirama would become even MORE concerned.

Why did I care about that Senju so damn much?

He'd annoy me by trying to take care of me, and he probably knows that but continues trying anyway. What even would I say if I was forced to tell him? I told someone to start the Fourth Shinobi war, proceeded to fight in it and fought (Still more like bullied) all five Kage at the same time, then just die at the end after getting revived and not in the Edo Tensei way? Hashirama may be optimistic, but no way in hell is he going to believe that. I get into bed, still thinking. There is no way in hell that I'm going to get out of going to see a Yamanaka. Izuna will push for me do it, Hashirama will push for me to do it, and I won't be able to get out of the situation without looking suspicious and a total asshole. If the Yamanaka gets in, I might as well just kick him out. I figured out how to do that for a while, and I might be able to kick the Yamanaka out before said Yamanaka gets traumatized by four Shinobi Wars. I slowly go to sleep, my nightmares to haunt me.

Why am I like this?

I wake up the next morning, realizing the privacy seals are gone. Someone must've destroyed them, and Hashirama could've been that person but I doubt it. I get up, only for Izuna to run into my tent. "Nii-san! Iwagakure is attacking!" He says quickly, and I instantly freeze. That didn't happen last timeline. What the hell is going on?

Why the fuck is everything against me for some reason?


End file.
